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Projects: Members: M4TT5T3R Apocalypse Articles: X-Box Announced (Mutants Outraged!) Links:
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X-Box Announced Mutant Community Outraged Bill Gates' recent announcement of Microsoft's new X-Box game console was abruptly interrupted by a furious gang of super-powered genetic mishaps led by mutant sympathizer Professor X. "Do you not see?" implored the frantic scientist, rumored to be afflicted by powerful brain mutations, to the stunned crowd. "This device... it will only serve to hurt... my people!! Please, please listen to me, all of you. We mutants mean you no harm." A swift response from Microsoft sent an army of robotic mutant-hunters onto the convention floor to heroically protect Mr. Gates and a panicked audience from the unprovoked attack. "Sentinels, destroy them... ALL!" commanded Gates from behind a force field quickly generated by the X-Box prototype. "I would also like to mention to the crowd that protection from mutants in only one of the features of the X-Box, set to be released in September 2001 at a very competitive price point. Will the Playstation 2 protect you from evil, hideous mutants? I don't think so." "Gates! Do not ... do ... this!" pleaded Professor X but added "Is it because... your own son... is a MUTANT?" A disturbing hush fell over the crowd. "NOOO! You lie, monstrous freak! YOU LIE!!!" replied Gates. "All of you, please, hear my words. Mutants only want to live alongside normal humans in peaaarrrrgggh ..." began the bald-headed mutie-lover, before succumbing to a stray energy blast from a nearby Sentinel and falling to the ground. The mutant band, reportedly known as the "X-Men," was quickly dispatched by the Sentinels and transported to Microsoft containment facilities for "further testing." The reason for their attack was unclear, although Gates asserts that paranoia over new technologies may be to blame. Gates then concluded with a smirk, "I guess you can't hold a party without expecting a few crahsers. Now, let's get back to discussing how my beloved X-Box will take over the world... metaphorically, of course."
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